I was reminded of a conversation I had not long ago with Tom Hayman, the author of the Certified Negotiation Expert course. We were talking about how negotiation seems to fit into a huge chunk of what we do every day. He remembered how he went out with his 19 year old son to buy his first truck.
Like most 19 year olds, he was anxious to just get the negotiations over with and drive away in his new, shiny status symbol. I of course was more interested in the actual negotiation itself and getting the best deal possible since I was going to be on the hook financially for awhile.
During the negotiations Tom said he patiently explained his strategy and tactics to his son and when it was all over he knew he had realized his objective when his son turned exclaimed "I can't believe what you just did! I've GOT to take your class on negotiation!"
Well, a few months ago I found myself standing there on the car lot and … it was big, black, 4x4 pickup with all the bells and whistles, it was shiny and it smelled great. As the salesman walked up I knew I was in trouble. Like Tom’s son my eyes were glazed over and my mind was trying very hard to take control of my emotion and focus on getting the best deal possible. How I wished I had Tom standing there with me … I was in trouble.
We were in the final stages of integrating the CNE course into the just released online version of the course and I commented that negotiation had never been a real strong suit for me as I never really had any formal training in that area. I said I always felt like an amateur getting into the ring with a professional. Tom noted that for most folks that was a common experience as skilled negotiators do things differently than average negotiators - because they've been better trained in the art of negotiation.
What followed was an eye opener for me as we discussed what makes a good negotiator. We talked about some of the key elements he has woven into his course; all from his long corporate experience as a contract negotiation for Proctor and Gamble. He said that over the past few years he has evaluated a lot of courses that have been created to improve, enhance and improve the real estate professional. But, in his opinion, they lacked the real hands on training that the student wanted.
Take any profession and the best practitioners usually have the most training and/or experience. So what have skilled negotiators been taught to do differently? What do skilled negotiators look like? How will you know one when you see one?
Here are some of the characteristics of skilled negotiators that Tom emphasizes in the CNE course – all of which can be learned:
1. Ask Questions. Skilled negotiators spend twice as much time asking questions as do average negotiators. They try to understand what the other side wants so they can develop a solution that satisfies all parties.
2. Active Listening. Active listening is repeating back what someone said to ensure understanding. You can use phrases like "Let me make sure I understand what you just said" or "Let me summarize my understanding of what you just said." This shows that you really are listening and trying to understand the other party.
3. Make Positive Comments. Skilled negotiators make many more positive comments than average negotiators. They do this to emphasize and build on the "good" in the negotiation to make it easier to deal with the "other" issues.
4. Explore More Options to Test Limits. Often times in a negotiation you don't have any idea what the other side wants. It's important to zero in on the boundaries or limits by safely offering up options to the other party to test their reaction. Using questions like "Suppose my client did such and such, would your client do such and such in return?" or "What if my client would do this, would your client agree to that?"? Skilled negotiators often explore many options before they find the one that works for both sides.
5. Plan – Plan - Plan. This is one of the BIG differences between skilled negotiators and average negotiators. Some very successful negotiators spend 4 hours planning for every 1 hour they spend in the actual negotiations. During the planning they seek out specific information that is needed to develop options and strategies. They turn the information into knowledge and then use the knowledge to plan the best approach for achieving their goals. And skilled negotiators are very methodical in their planning, often utilizing guides and forms in arriving at their final plan.
6. Role Play. Skilled negotiators spend a significant amount of time practicing. If you have role played various scenarios several times you will be much more confident when the actual situation presents itself.
7. Argue Less. Arguing introduces negative emotion into the negotiation and skilled negotiators know the importance of minimizing/eliminating negative emotions. And, since skilled negotiators spend more time exploring options, making positive comments and asking questions.
8. Win-Win Mentality. Highly successful negotiators know that the best way to get a win for their client is to help create a win for the other party as well. It's extremely rare that one party will be able to "force" the other party to accept terms and conditions that are unsatisfactory to the other party.
9. High Integrity. This is a given. If you have ever negotiated with someone who demonstrates a lack of or questionable integrity, you never want to negotiate with them again. Trust is built (or destroyed) during the negotiations and once trust is established more open information sharing occurs. But once integrity is questioned, the information flow stops and the negotiations become extremely difficult.
10. Knowledge of Subject. Expert negotiators know knowledge is power and they will spend the time to become knowledgeable about important areas of the negotiation. If you lack knowledge in a specific area you can bring in your own expert. If the other side has an expert, have your own.
11. Think Double. Thinking double means anticipating what the other side will say or want in a given area of the negotiation, and being prepared with a response when appropriate. Thinking double makes you better prepared to deal with issues and concerns in the heat of the battle.
Effective negotiation training can help you learn to do everything necessary to be a skilled negotiator. The Certified Negotiation Expert (CNE) course will be released on March 15th and the link to the course will be available on www.realtyu.com. It is without a doubt one of the finest courses I have ever taken and you can be sure that Tom Hayman will take your negotiation skills to the next level.
